This is just so I don't lose this thing entirely.

Man, I don't know where to start with this thing.  Been awhile since I actually wrote something, and there's too much stuff on my mind to unload here in one sitting.

General updates:
School is busy.  Of course.
I want to take a nap.  I don't have time to.
I'm in the Four O'Clock Lab Band again.  It's good. 
I'm still dating Taylor.  He's awesome.
I'm still trying to seek God with all my heart, everyday.  I usually fail. 
God is still faithful.  Yesterday, today, and forever.

I feel like I'm in the midst of God teaching me a lot, but since I'm in the midst of it, I'm not really sure what it is.  I don't know what will stick with me and what I'll forget.  But I think it all has to do with not being worried about tomorrow because today has enough worries of its own.  And I think it's about not being concerned with doing this and that or going here and there, but with being a child of God and trusting His hand and being who He wants me to be.  Being, not doing.  And how the things that are wrong with my walk with Christ are not these tiny, debatable legalistic things, but that I need to be a new person.  Everyday, I need to be transformed by the renewal of my mind.  That's a lot harder than figuring out if I should use this word or eat this thing.  I need to be a new creation.  This probably doesn't make any sense at all.  But like I said, I'm in the midst of it.  It doesn't have to make sense yet.  So if you're confused by all this, don't worry.  So am I.

I have updated.  My job is finished.

This is from Oswald Chambers' "My Utmost for His Highest". Surprise surprise. Yeah, sorry, no original thoughts lately (I'm too tired for them), so I'll just steal from dear ol' Oswald.

"We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see "Him walking on the sea" with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see "Him walking on the sea" (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious."

Holy crap, that's challenging for me! I find myself always thinking that I want to know "God's will" (in other words, what I'll do for a career, where I'll live, how my relationships should progress) and I forget that God's will is already clearly laid out for me: that I should love my neighbor as I love myself, that I should give thanks in all circumstances, that I should not be anxious in anything, that I should walk in the way of righteousness and trust in and obey my Lord. These things, these day to day ways of life, are what God desires for me. As much as I don't want to admit it, figuring out those future things is completely trivial compared to living these everyday things right now. I fail at this. All the time.